Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
