3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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