Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
