Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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