I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
