omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
