can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
