I swear she didn't look like that last week.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
