love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
wow bdsm is so cute
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
