I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
