so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You're a waste of cheezeits
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
