I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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