So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
