Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Randomize
