I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
