yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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