Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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