Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
