Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
