I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Quick, to the slutcave!
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
