she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize