Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
