would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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