she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
