It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
