what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
