Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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