Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
