yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
