I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
