Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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