i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
