Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
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