hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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