Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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