Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
