Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
