Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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