she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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