Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
