it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
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