first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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