i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
