I am in a vortex of obligation.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
