doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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