No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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