We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
babies were throwing up all over the place
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
