Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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