Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
