tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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