from now on my penis is your penis
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Randomize
