at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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