As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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