But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Randomize